babyrika
30 oct 1991.
18
ite simei
single bitch
♥ DESIRES
ain
shasha
jEnNy
vaNN
opicK
yaNis
jOsepH
tAUFIK
SHA
jinx
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guyz!..i finally forgotton of my current x..i broke wif F i D o..de past few daes i get 2 noe wif 2 guyz n was bz becoz i went 2 mit them..de ferst guy was a gangster n he was humourous n cute but luckily i didnt fall in luv wif him..becoz i found out he had a fiance..haiz bad luck sia..aft tat i met a 15 yr old guy frm admiralty..he was a "matrep" frm "tanjong"..i didnt mit him solo coz my kpo but caring frenz wan 2 c him..aft tat, i sent him off at de mrt n i noticed tat his hp batt was flat..at nite, i msg him but he didnt reply..he told mi to cal him but his hp was off..his hp was off until ytd i found out tat his hp line was disconnected..his ger hu noe him 1 dae lata den mi, add mi in msn..we had a chat n we found out tat he was makin a fool wif our feelings..eventhough bout of us hav de same feelings towards, we juz like but dun love him becoz he dun hav de trust frm him..den his ger asked mi 2 cal her becoz she needs sum1 2 talk 2..i called her n she told mi tat he told her tat i was onli sec1 n i was chasin 4 him..i was veri angri sia..buto sak..she asked whether im reali sec 1 becoz frm de wae i talk 2 her n share my touts wif her was nt like a sec 1 ger..i told her tat im sec 3 n my age is de same as him..i contacted wif mani guyz other dan him..but he rushed mi 2 b his ger so i dun contact wif other guyz juz 4 him..she told mi tat he did tat 2 her 2..so it was like both of uz sacrificed our frenship wif other guyz juz 4 de fuckin idiot..n hu noes de other guyz r beta den him..i told her i and him dun hav ani connection alr..n i wanna stop here xo i told her tat she shld confront 2 him how she reali feel n dun keep quiet n wait 4 him..if she kept waitin 4 him, he might 2 de same thing 2 other gers out dere other dan mi..he juz wan 2 show off tat he hav a lot of gers chasin 4 him in front of his fuckin frenz..she tout of it awhile n she decided 2 do as i sae..gd luck era hope jere wil get shocked aft he noe tat u chat wif mi..u said u wan mi 2 brin my members n follow u wif ur members 2 admiralty n fuck him up rite..i'll b waitin n b prepared babe..let kick his fuckin small dick xo he cannot ditch gers animore hahaha..btw aft de fuckin guyz, i reali regretted knowin guyz..n i reali gif up on relationship..not 2 b racist but i hav 2 sae dis in mly..klau aku gian sgt, aku maen fling suda. gi mampoz ar laki nk seriouz relationship. tk de mase ar..gua mao njoy dulu..haha..aniwae i'll stop here tc bb
hey guyz..u rmb i told u tat i wont hav a bf agen rite?..but i couldnt keep my words..i cntct my x, F i D o, aft i sent him a testi..we tok bout our life aft our break up..he was havin probs as wel as me..den we decided 2 mit each other aft sch..eventhough we haven patch up dat dae, he hold me hand as we walked 2 queenstown..last tyme wen we were steady, wen we mit, we wil quarrel at least once..but tat dae, we didnt quarrel at all n we were hapi 2gether..i had a great tyme mitin him..den de special part iz we romance b4 he sent mi home..aft i reached home, i felt tat i stil luv him like laz tyme but frm de bottom of my hart, i luv my current x more..F i D o asked me 4 patch n i accept him..shaz was nt quite hapi wif my decision..it was becoz she dun reali like F i D o's character aft wat he did 2 me laz tyme..but she juz sae dun regret agen aft u made ur decision..i said i hope so..our anniversary iz 2 wks awae..til nw our relationship iz doin fine but onli his n level might b a prob 4 us..haiz..im hapi wif him but i dun feel as great as i was wen im wif my current x..i tink i still luv my current x n stil cannot 4get about him..n now i hav proof tat he lied 2 mi frm de beginning of our frenship den our relationship..it makez me hate him but de more i hate him de more i miz him..i dunno wen i can 4get bout him n "concentrate" wif F i D o..mani frenz of mine felt tat Fido truli luv mi n dey wan mi 2 treasure n take care of him properly..but sum of my frenz afraid i might regret it agen..haiz..wen wil my confusion n de hurt in mi wil b erased 4eva?..y cant de memories i had wif my current x b erased too?..u wil realise tat my posts or cn sae my entire blog iz bout de hard tyme im goin thru n i noe itz borin..
helo..i reali wan 2 talk 2 him 4 de last tyme so i noe wat iz he tryin 2 do n y he dun wan 2 cntct me?.. aft him, i dun wish 2 hav ani more fuckin bastard as my guy..i dun wan ani more suckin relationship..juz wanna stay sgl n start afresh..to him, if he cn gif me a reasonable reason n wan me back den i'll tink of it agen..but 2 start a new relationship, i reali dun wan..i promiz myself n sha dat i wont hav a bf agen..we decide 2 stay sgl 2gether n move on wif life wif a new start..
fuck my suckin life n my luv!..de 1 i trusted n luv truly, broke my heart n washed away my little happiness left in my life.. i juz dunno wat more wil happen 2 me if i go on wif my idiot life.. becoz as daes goes by, my life make me bleed deeper n deeper.. i honestly tout my luv wil brin back de happiness i lost, back into my life..but i was extremly wrg..dis was wat happenned..it was our first mit on 08/08/06..we had a great tyme..but de part tat made me worried was wen he told me he decided 2 sel his hp 2 buy a PSP..i asked him how r we gonna cntct..he said by msn..i asked him whether de PSP or me iz more impt?..he said i am impt 2 him but he reali wan de PSP..i juz dunno wat 2 sae so i juz replied ok..my first tout was mayb he's tryin 2 avoid me..but i trusted him n i juz tink in de positive wae..wen i reached home, i quickly went online n waited 4 him..i waited 4 him til 2am but stil he wasnt online..so i tout mayb he was tired or he hav sumtin on..de nxt dae i waited 4 him too..my fren persuaded me 2 cal or msg him..i cal him n i was shocked den i can get thru coz i tout he sold his hp..haiz..he didnt ans my cal..so i decided 2 msg him n ask me wat is he doin..he didnt replied..
after al de darkness n hardship in my life al dis while, now there's a small light in my life..dis light was my darlin..i spent time wif him n it reali make me hapi n forget my fuckin life at home..we spent time watchin movie n romancin in de theatre..it was xo swit..but sumtimes i wonder whether wil he luv me as much as i luv him or whether i cn trust him as much as i tout so..haiz but nw juz 4get bout tat first..4 nw i wanna spend most of my time wif him b4 i fly back 2 thailand..n time reali flies fast haiz..wen i fly back 2 thailand, my life wil nt b de same..i'll miz him a lot n keep tinkin of him..but most importantly, im worried bout him..i dunno wat will he b doin wen im nt ard..i juz hope my idiot mum wil change her fuckin mind so i wont hav 2 go..but if i dun hav a choice, i'll juz pray 4 his safety..haiz..juz hope my precious moments wif him cn make me hapi wen i miz him in thailand..i swear i wil nt b hapi or even hav de mood 2 do aniting in thailand..no appetite 2 eat..both of us wished our parents wil allow us 2 hav a open relationship so we wont hav 2 lie 2 them wen we wanna go out..parents hate wen their children lie but wen their children dun lie, dey dun understand or accept their children situation..if im a mother, i wil understand my children wen dey start 2 fal in luv..but my parents dun giv a shit 2 understand..haiz..4 nw i dun wan 2 tink bout tat..juz wanna tink bout my dear n spend my fuckin time wif him..til here tc bb
eeee! so fed up wif my sore throat..fuck la..5 daes stil haven fel ani beta..my boi asked me to c de doc, but i dun wan..i hate visitin de doc..my boi is quite angry wen i sae i dun wan 2 c de doc..haiz im sori dear..i cant eat well 4 de past few daes becoz of dis..n i noe u r worried bout me dear..i'll b fine k..haiz..i'll b flyin back 2 thai at de end of oct n wil onli return nxt yr..i realli dun wish 2 fly back..i wan 2 spend my holidaes wif my boi n frenz but was forced by famili..haiz..i dunno how im goin 2 b hapi there wen i miz ppl here especially my boi..he oso dun wan me 2 fly back but becoz im forced, he cant do anitin bout it..we cn onli cntct each other by letter..y cant i decide everiting my own without ani1 forcin me..my life reali sux rite..al my posts r bout bad tings tat happened in my freakin life..u hardly read bout sumtin gd tat happen in my life..im out of words nw..tc bb
cant wait 4 8th aug n 10th aug..meetin 2 special persons..i wanna go out at nite but becoz of my fuckin curfew, i cant..i cn onli go out durin de dae..hu de fuck onli wan 2 go out durin de dae..i oso wan 2 experience n hav at nite..it reali sux bein like dis..my boi wan me 2 watch de fireworks wif him but becoz of my fuckin curfew n bitchy mom, i cant go wif him..haiz..y cant i juz live my life on my own without ani1 controllin my life..or juz gif me sum freedom..my mom kept tinkin if i go out at nite, i wil b pregnant wen i come back..wat rubbish..i noe wat i suppose n not suppose 2 do..if im tat stupid 2 b pregnant, i would hav been pregnant long ago alr..becoz i wen out wif a lot of idiot guyz whom i dun reali noe them well..but now, aft i found my boi, i dun do al tat again..i luv him xo much..eventhough we dun reali mit each other tat often, but i stil luv n trust him..my god bro"fareez" n my god sis-in-law"nanoq" r so lovin 2gether..hope dey r steady 4eva..hehe..haiz my best fren"shaz" iz emotionally troubled..hope she wil 4get her admire tat she luv but she cant get him..itz nt worth waitin 4 him..ok i'll stop here..tc bb
y cant tat person simply understand hows my life nw n believe me?..i came back late todae becoz of my enrichment course n he dun believe me..i try 2 explain 2 him but he kept tinkin i lied 2 him again..last tyme i did lied 2 him bout a lot of things but nw i changed..even he noe i've changed but y he juz cannot simply believe me..haiz..everidae, wen i wan 2 try 2 4get my probs n try 2 b hapi but other tings juz kept makin me upset n frustrated..i dun even feel like livin on nw..but becoz of ppl hu care bout me n doesnt wan me 2 gif up my life, i moved on..as daes passes, my life gets darker n my pain gets deeper..i wish i could find ani1, need not b a guy, to help me bring sum light into my life..but my wish wil nv come true..so y muz i waste my fuckin time wishin 4 sumting..nth gd happen todae..i'll stop here..bb tc
haiz..tired sia todae..juz nw PE lesson played softball..fuck him ar softball..de ball so hard call softball..haha my fren, seri, kana hit by de ball..haha actuali i onli kana hit by de ball..stupid game..other dan tat, as usual sch daes borin..still stuck wif my curfew..nw i cannot even use my comp becoz my fuckin bro told my mom tat i use de comp 4 chattin..buto la..can he juz mind his fuckin business n leave me alone..i nv bastard him but he bastard me..y muz i hav him as a bro..y cant i hav brothers lyke my other frenz..their brothers r veri understandin n lovin..haiz..juz wanna gif up my life but after tinkin 4 mani times, i changed my mind..til here..bb tc