wanted to post ytd but was too upset..even now im stil cryin over wat happened ytd..we almost break up..haix..i wana tink bout it but i stil cn post it larh..ma blog become a place for mie let out everitin bout life..


itz been 1wks plus, both of us didnt tok much..coz hes bz werkin n wen he got home, he alwaes fall aslp..i dun mind tat n stil wait for diz weekend to tok to hym..coz sat he werk half dae n sun off..den i cnt top up coz no cash..ma cash all i gave hym..even i transfer almost ma whole pp8 for hym but ytd ma mom was kind to top up for mie..got back at 7 frm de market wif mom..didnt brin ma hp coz ma pp8 onli 4cents..brin along oso no use rite..got back n saw 2mish call..1 was switheart..de other was ma x Alfi..so i text alfi n told hym to cal back..coz itz been like 3mths since we cntct each other..since we broke up larh..but he didnt response so i call switheart..tok to hym bout 5mins den he told mie to hold on coz he wana tok to his fren awhile..den conincidentli alfi call n i pick up..wana tel switheart tat ma x cal, but he was bz tokin so i on loudspeaker n tok to alfi..so switheart cn hear..


alfi asked mie how i've been doin n stuffs.. he wana thanked mie bout de bdae wish i gave hym..he appreciated it larh..den he tok bout de break up we had..n de wae he tok to mie was miang jgk larh..but tats de wae he tok to de girls..den switheart told mie to tok to ma x ferst den cal hym back n he hang up..i noe hes angry n i told alfi tat i wana cal ma guy ferst..n wen i called, switheart start banging mie wif harsh werds..sayin i pentingkn ma x den hym..wen he hang up, i didnt automatic cal hym back..he told mie to tok ma x instead of hym larh..he asked to go fuck ma x..he sae al diz..how wil u tink i felt..i tried so hard to xplain to hym but he juz told mie to shut up..i told hym i got nth wif alfi n al diz while i didnt cntct hym n he cal mie up to check mie out mcm tanye khabar g2..den switheart sae "go ask hym to check u out n in larh..dier lebe penting dari aku per.." itz nt like wat he tink larh..den he sae "ya ur x tok to u bkn maen nye miang.." den i argued back "but did i tok to hym miang2 tk?..i put loudspeaker jd u leh dgr i bbual ngn dier so u wont tink i tok to ma x behind ur back.."den he sae bullshit....excuses...


he dun get ma point..if u r in ma guy's place, wich u prefer..u wan ur gerl to tok wif her x alr den inform u or u wana hear wat ur gerl n her x tok bout?..ya ma its ma fault tat i didnt tel hym tat ma x cal ferst b4 answerin de cal..but itz becoz hes tokin to his fren, i tried to interupt but he didnt hear..den wat else he wan mie to do sia?..we argued n he kip maki2 mie n told mie "if ur x is so impt den go fuck hym..[ on ma mind was lao aku g maen ngn dier aru kau menyesal sak ]..even wif de fuckin wae he tok to mie, i stil tok to hym niceli but i did raise ma voice abit coz he doesnt wana hear ma explanation..he wan mie to ask alfi to cal back n tel alfi mi n hym argued..he wana hear wat alfi respond..n i followed wateva he wan mie 2 ask alfi regardless i mean it or nt..coz i noe itz nt alfi's fault..itz ma fault..he shld blame mie onli n dun blame alfi but he dun care..he wan mie 2 ask alfi whether alfi haf feelings for mie tk..den alfi sae "yesh i do n i mish u even i haf ma gerl but i stil regret lettin u go..." i was damn! ma guy heard tat n he got worse


i hang up alfi's line n ma guy asked mie for break..he sae itz over..n i was fuckin hel shocked n told hym nt to let mie go..i beg for his forgiveness but he sae wateva fuck arh..he sae "now u cn tok to hym niceli but to mie u raise ur voice.." den i sae "i raise ma voice wif u becoz u dun wana hear mie out.." den he sae "ya i wont hear ani bullshit frm u animore n tel ur mom tat she cn b happie nw tat u dun haf a guy animore n 1st dec u cn go out wif ani bastard instead of mie.." n he hang up..i called agen n try to clear out but he dun bother to hear n hang up agen..but at laz he try to listen to mie but den he wan mie 2 cal ma x n tok to hym harshli..tok to hym like hes de one to b blame n he caused ma rlationship..but in heart i noe itz nt alfi's fault but i stil followed wat he sae..i argued wif alfi n blamin hym tat itz his fault tat i broke up..n alfi sae he doesnt haf ani intention coz he called up juz wana sae thkz n tanye khabr..but since ma guy told mie to blame hym..wich i did.. i tok to alfi without ani respect..kip blamin hym n stuffs..alfi got impatience too but i kept blamin hym becoz tat was wat ma guy wan...ma guy wana tok to alfi so i ask alfi to cal ma guy..n dey quarrel larh..but aft alfi hang up, ma guy told mie tat he stil consider mie his gf..but hes stil reconsiderin..he might change his mind..he told mie nt to b too hapy..den i asked hym wat made hym to change his mind?..he sae de wae i argued n blame alfi was wat he wan..he wan his gerl to b firm n pentingkn dier srg..he sae i cnt pentingkn kwn2 or ma x ulu..


wen he sae tat i noe he dun get ma point at al..he stil tinks i pentingkn alfi at de ferst place..den up to hym larh..i admit i shld b blamed psl punce dier dari mie..mayb u were wonderin y i beg hym nt to let mie go even wen i noe he dun bother to understand mie at all..well itz becoz i noe i did a mistake n i dun wan hym to walk awae like tat..aku rela biar dier pegy dgn care baek dari care mcm nie..itz nt bout how much i love but wat matters is he understand mie..n den if he wana let mie go den he cn..now i duno wats on his mind but i reali hope he wil tink back n realised tat i pentingkn dier..if i tk pentingkn dier, i wouldnt haf tok to alfi de wae he wanted..i felt like a dog following wateva his master sae..i dunno larh..tel mie did i do de rite ting? n would he consider lettin mie go?..but i swear de arguement was a fuckin CHILDISH one!! argh~