Sunday, January 27, 2008

ma heart was kidnapped by u

itz been long since i update rite..hmm coz ma net got cut coz of sum bloody financial probs larh..so now i haf 2 bear usin sch com or go cyber cafe to use net for another mth before i get ma net back..beginnin of everi yr dere muz b financial issue sey..but nvm larh, im used to it..wanted to post frm ma ferst dae of sch til todae but it wil b damn long..so i wil juz tok bout how ma life is now since i went in ite BSHAN..IT WAS GREAT FUN uh!! ferst i thought i gona b loneli coz i went into diz sch by maself without ma besties animore.. but i was wrong because i make a big bunch of new frenz larh!! huhu!.. juz by not bein anti social n charac, u wil easili make new frenz n get along wif dem fast like wat i've done..haha..i used to b anti social wich is nt gud at al larh..hehe..now ma class haf 30+ ppl n most of dem r ma frenz alr..haha..for those hu r close to mie r SITI, SHASHA, FIFI, CONNIE, ROS, HERIENI, ARIF, NIZA, MELLISSA, ADILAH, HAIZA..BIG GRP ARH..but now niza, mellissa, adilah, haiza dun reali wana join along in our grp..mayb dey dun reali like to do tings in a grp like us..tk jiwe la katekn..but we stil walk 2 sch 2gether la..hmm..one shockin ting i haf to tel u is one of ma new frenz is ma x-boyfren's{firdaus a.k.a fido} ex gerlfie..haha easy to sae NIZA is fido's ex n fido is ma x..haha..understand?..hehe she told mie aft i broke wif fido, she stead wif hym..haha n i noe she dislike mie frm de wae she look at mie but we stil tok at times larh..

ouh yarh nt to forget, on de ferst wk of sch i tink, i went to yshun campus wif ma grp of frenz..n i saw opick haha i guez he didnt c mie larh..n otw back home, we took de mrt..sadly i haf to take mrt home alone coz im de onli 1 stayin in bshan..de rez r mostly stayin in jurong, cck n woodlands..n i saw ma x on de mrt..he was shocked wen he saw mie wearin ite uniform..haha n he asked bout ma sch n al larh..so i haf sum1 to walk mi home..hehe..he asked for ma hp num n kish mie gudbye..was surprised to get a kish frm hym..hes actuali 1 of ma x wen i was sec 1..haha..

im lovin wat im learnin now..wise to pick a course tat interest mie alot..i noe itz nt easy to proceed to higher nitec but i wil stil work hard for it..next mth on 1st n 2nd, gona haf camp at east coast..cnt wait sia!..haha...

hmmm..bout ma sgl life, im free to do wateva i wan..haha so y shld i haf a guy..but i do like diz senior tat instruct us durin our orientation.. haha juz find hym cute la n would lyke to b fren wif hym..nth more dan tat arh..
hmm bout hym, i mean "ritza", i stil cry weneva i tink of hym n c his pics..ma love for hym is so strong tat it hurts mie as much..itz been 2mths without sum1 so of coz i miss havin a guy..especialli wen al ur gerlfrenz r havin rlationships but i cntrl everi bit of lust..n wen i tink back de pain i gave to de sum of ma gud n faithful ex bfs, i feel regret til it kills mie inside..i hope im forgiven n forgotten by dem..ya itz too late to apologise but itz nv too late to realise n learn frm ur mistakes..b4 i slp, de pain "ritza" gave mie alwaes wil take ma breath awae..but sch joy replace it wif laughter n fun..haiz..tryin veri hard to let it go..n lateli i found out tat "ritza" juz found a new gerlfie..n damn hell tat gerl iz 1 of ma close frenster frenz..she noe i eva stead wif "ritza" n even wish us gud luck on our rlationship..n now aft i broke off wif hym, she stead wif hym..i noe itz nt wrg la if she wana stead wif "ritza", but i was juz fuckin shocked wen i saw her frenster..she took pic wif evansya[ritza's son]..fuck arh!!!..ritza eva promish mie tat he wana brin mie 2 mit his son n i waited for tat dae al de tyme wen we were stil att..but didnt get a chance to mit evansya at all..

if u were in ma shoes, how wil u feel?..u love hym fully but he hurt u totalli..den u decided to leave hym n move on so u wont b hurt agen but u juz cnt stop tinkin bout ur past wif hym..u started hatin hym wen u found out tat he tricked u al along n u kip focusin on ur frenz n sch..but suddenly 1 dae u found out he moved on wif ur fren...!!..
i kept cryin everi nite since i found out hes alr att..i wana drink, smoke or even fling wif guys so it could help mie calm down..but i tink thru n i realise i shldnt restart ma bad habits agen for a bastard lyke hym..so al i could do is continue cryin, throw ma fon against de wal becoz in ma fon deres msgs n pics of hym..til ma hp cover cracked n luckily ma fon stil okae..dammit larh!..cn i juz 4get bout hym..itz been 2mths larh..PLZ GOD!!..kip mie strength to overcome diz quickily..i cnt stand de hell inside mie!